Thursday, March 27, 2008
I was told many times that I did not have the nice beautiful body that guys desire. Why didn't I leave him for making me feel ugly, for insulting me? The best answer that I can give right now is - after a while, I believe him.
One of our problems right now is his addiction to online pornography. He is no longer interested in having sex with me. Our sex life has always been an issue. I always felt inferior to the pictures in his magazines and other women that he knows. I want to get some professional help. But, it's hard to find good help in this matter where we live.
So, I decided to write here instead. It helps me to imagine that someone is listening to me. I desperately need to share the pain and sadness that I feel inside with somebody, anybody! I welcome any advise or comment. I hope to be able to write again soon.
Labels: addiction, communication, depression, distrust, pornography, spouse
The proffessional person t help you is you.
One is to change the way you have decided to look at yourself because of how your husband looks at you and keeps comparing you. Its hard i know but possible and it begins from you inside.Start looking at your self not incomparison to the pictures its a slow process but slowly you will overcome the inferiosity part of you and you will be able to help your husband look at you the way you look at your self and also appreciate you.
Posted at April 23, 2008 10:32 AM
The fact that he stayed when you accepted him to leave and he came back shows he loves you and you could make your marriage better if you could start looking at you self as something of value a TREASURE and that will help him drop his comparisons and focus on you because you love yourself.
its all in your mind and all you have to do is have a positive mind set.
Posted at April 23, 2008 10:38 AM
Thank you for sharing some of your experience with your husband and pornography. I am so sorry as I am sure many who have been able to read your message. I have been so so sad this past year for similiar reasons. I lost a bunch of weight from feeling so overwhelmed and rejected by my husband's choices. I am 46 so it is difficult to feel adequate when I am aware of all the 'other' woman he enjoys dreaming about. Time has helped and pray, scripture study and a good friend/listening ear has made all the difference for me. There is a spiritual reality that is so different than the carnal world some men choose to dwell on. Good Luck! As woman we need to love and support each other. Unfortunately I have come to understand that LOTS OF WOMAN SHARE THIS BURDEN!
Posted at May 2, 2008 8:16 PM
My heart goes out to you for your trials with your husband. Pornography is an addiction and it will be very difficult for your husband to abandon this addiction without a desire to do so and some good help along the way. My husband has this addiction and I don't believe he will ever be able to abandon it completely, but he has never wanted to leave our marriage - I was the one to do that. After I learned about the effect his addiction has had on our children (who are all adults now), I became so angry that I left him for about 1 1/2 years. Through counseling and soul searching and the power of God, I finally came to a point where I was able to forgive him. I am now 62 years old and we are together again. He is a good man who happens to have an addiction to pornography. I still love him, but in a different way than I did when we were first married.
May God watch over you and help you to be able to deal with your situation. You are cherished by Him and He loves you more than you can even imagine, and He wants you to be happy.
Posted at June 11, 2008 10:38 AM
