Thursday, March 27, 2008
Two months later, his wife found out and they subsequently got divorced. For 3 years, I didn't know he had a secret life. We had frequent arguments over anything and everything and I occasionally had thoughts of leaving him, but I always stayed.
It wasn't until just over a year ago that I realized that he was turning to pornography every time he felt "rejected" by me. Last March I confronted him after realizing he was sending money orders via internet to women who would perform in front of a webcam for him.
He denied everything and became upset that I would even think he would do such a thing. Two months later, I caught him again, doing the same thing, and he finally admitted to it. He said he had been "scared" before and was afraid I would leave if I knew that he had spent nearly $1,000 on these women.
I was devastated and tried to leave, but for whatever reason, I decided to stay. In September, I caught him having erotic chats online and I moved out for a couple days. But for whatever reason, I returned and our relationship went right back to the way it was.
He was convinced he had his addiction beat and he would do anything to keep me by his side. It only lasted a month...and I started realizing he was at it again--viewing porn and having erotic chats. I pretended I didn't know, pretended that I could ignore the problem...but 3 weeks ago I started packing my stuff. I couldn't take it anymore. He was viewing everything from bestiality, to incest, to pictures of young children in bathing suits.
He told me that everything I had saw was just out of curiosity...but I don't believe him. Yes, I'm still here, but we are not "together" right now. I am seeking counseling to help me with my self-esteem issues and give me the courage to move on.
Labels: addiction, adultery, pornography, prostitution, spouse, unfaithful
Please leave him. Leave and never look back. The fact that he was unfaithful to his wife coupled with how young you are and what he has looked at means he is very sick and not to be trusted. He is a danger to everyone he comes in cantact with. Call the authorities and turn over his computer to them if you feel strong enough. For your own well being sever all ties with him as soon as possible! Do not warn him - just get a plan together and follow it. This is not a person capable of being a full partner in a loving relationship. You are still young and there is lots of hope. Leave, take some time for yourself and wait for a while before you get into another relationship. When you get in another relationship look for someone who will give more to you, who is your age, someone interested in marrying you, and someone honorable, this guy obviously wasn't.
You need to heal so keep gettting help. Your self-esteem must be shot but you need to know that you are worth the work to get out of this situation. You prpbably feel some guilt for your involvement with him and the break up of his marriage. It was all bad but you were so young. He knew better.
Pray for strenghth. Through this experience you must realize that Satan is real. You need to trust that God is real too. Pray for stength, pray for guidence...it will come. Pray for peace and act in a way to help it come. May God bless you in this great time of need. He loves you and will help you. Trust those instincts He has given you.
Posted at April 21, 2008 1:44 PM
